Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
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