Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
