Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I need to calm my uterus...
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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