Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
