girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
