my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
