3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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