So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
