My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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