Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
lets start a swedish sibling band together
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
