Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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