Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
