we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
