i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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