I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
