I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
