why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize