Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
