Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
