saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize