We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
