Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
