My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
