just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
