so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
