tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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