She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
