Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
