I'm gonna have a badass scar
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
