Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
