so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
