fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Still dying that you shit outside
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
