hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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