How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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