That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
My life is pants optional.
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