when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
love makes seman taste better
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
