he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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