we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
