Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
