i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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