Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
