Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
