how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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