just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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