Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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