Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
