its not stalking. its research.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
