I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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