so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
