chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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