You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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