Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
