Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize