it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
