You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
