some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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