Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
