I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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