If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
