I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
